Holidays are stressful enough! Throw in the blended family dynamic and a global pandemic and it can be pure pandemonium. Blended family expert, Coach Naja shares some tips on how to stay sane during this holiday season.
Limits are essential for all interactions, even if they’re not romantic. Relationship boundaries define the unwanted behaviors of your partner. This article lists the boundaries you can set without endangering your relationship. Let’s say you’ve met the love of your life through Dating Rating. Your partner ticks all your boxes except for one small detail; […]
Your membership at VIPStepmom.com has major perks! Earn points for doing things you’d normally do on a website like this, like commenting on group conversations, making posts, and reading our awesome content. Your membership essentially pays for itself! Here’s how to earn points: 50 points 1 year membership Anniversary 1 point each time you […]
by Nika Ward Did you know that June is World Infertility Month? If you’re a woman that has experienced infertility, you’re already are aware. Did you know that infertility is a condition that can cause post-traumatic stress disorder? After watching a recent Insecure episode, it really hit me how quiet the infertility community is about […]
Corona and Coparenting I’ve received many questions from single parents, coparents, and stepparents during this historic pandemic and my BEST piece of advice is to protect your household. Social distancing and quarantines are proven to be effective methods of limiting the spread of infectious disease BUT what do you do when your child lives in […]
My name is Jennifer with Blended Family Hell on Earth. I’ve been a bio mom for 28 years and a stepmom for almost 10 years. Collectively, Hubster and I have 6 kids ages 14, 17, 19 (his) & 21, 25, 28 (mine). In 2010, I went into this “last wife” relationship as a hopeful, romantic, […]
How many times have you read an article that totally speaks to your stepmom struggles and got excited? You instantly feel the notion that the author understands your pain and you send the link to your man in hopes that he’ll get it too? The problem is your man has a tough time seeing things from your perspective because that article was for you, NOT HIM!
We want your Man to be just as invested in results as you are. There are so many tools out there for stepmoms, and now we’re pouring efforts into helping HIM cope with his HCBM, teaching HIM how to deal with dad guilt and much more. Visit www.VIPStepmom.com to join today!
*A membership costs less than a glass of wine 🙂
I know how you feel I’m well aware that women that chose to pursue relationships with men with kids experience a gamut of emotions such as anxiety, depression, confusion, and helplessness. As a Stepmom, I’ve felt each of these emotions too. It’s really easy to get consumed while coping with a high conflict mom, a […]
Founder, VIPStepmom, Naja Hall attended the press conference for the National Parents Organization. NPO presented their Shared Parenting Report Card. They also screened the Erasing Family Documentary by Ginger Gentile. New York City and Rhode Island got a big fat F. What is your state’s grade? Check out the Report Card A study just […]
Q: Last night my fiance revealed some things to me that I was not aware of. Prior to our relationship, we were friends I knew that he had suffered from depression after the birth of his daughter because she was taking away at 3 months and he did not see her again until she was […]
My husband and I have joint custody of a loving 3-year-old. His mother and I are on pretty good terms – we text about our son (re: social activities etc.) We’ve shared a few LOL’s but nothing too deep. Q: Well, I’m pregnant (shhhh) and we are preparing soon-to-be Big Brother for the change in […]
My clients Denver and Ayshia are a Mom+Stepmom combo that are experiencing a common dilemma. It’s common for children and custodial parents to suffer separation anxiety when the child spends time with their noncustodial parent. This often leads to intrusive phone calls which interrupt bonding time with the child’s other family. During this session, the […]
dis·en·gage (dsn-gj) v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles. 2. To release (oneself) from an engagement, pledge, or obligation. To free or detach oneself; withdraw. “Disengage from the situation!” “Just disengage from your stepchild if they are causing you pain!” “I would just disengage from my husband if he was acting like that.” These […]
I’m in VIPStepmom launch celebration mode so I’m sharing a taste of just ONE of the exclusive resources for VIPStepmom members! Here is a bonus version of our VIPStepmom podcast! I asked all the ladies, if you knew then, what you know now….would you still say YES? PLEASE follow us on Instagram and Facebook. We […]
In 2000, 9-year old Lizzie Capuzzi decided that she wanted to celebrate her stepmother, Joyce and felt this should be done on the Sunday following Mother’s day. Lizzie decided to take her celebration a step further by reaching out to U.S. Representative Rick Santorum. On July 11, 2000, it was published in Congressional Record No. […]
My Client has watched helplessly as her 10-year old custodial stepdaughter has transformed from loving to tough-to-love in less than a year. Stepdaughter returns from weekend visits with her biological mother acting unruly and disrespectful. The biological mother has just re-entered the child’s life after an ‘illness’ and I suspect this is the root cause […]
The recent shooting death of rapper Nipsey Hussle has rocked music lovers everywhere. The conspiracy theorists are running rampant and speculation over who murdered the 33-year-old rapper has caused much raucous online. While most “aware” people can recognize that the government has colluded with citizens in order to execute noisemakers, Nipsey’s death could very well […]
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE From the B&B Team We are so excited to announce the arrival of Naja Hall’s highly anticipated *new blended family podcast, I Know I’m CRAZY. I know I’m Crazy podcast focuses on divorce, coparenting, steparenting, childhood trauma and emotional wellness by putting a light-hearted spin on very serious topics. As a well-known […]
Married Filing Separately If you are married, you and your spouse can choose whether to file separate tax returns or whether to file a joint tax return together. Filing jointly usually gets you a bigger refund or a lower tax bill, and most married couples file joint returns, but there are some cases where it […]
Submitted by a member of the Blended and Black community Have you ever found yourself saying, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost a limb!”? Usually thoughts like this pass when we see a debilitated person. Some attempt to empathize, we may thank our Creator for sparing us the horrid experience, some of […]
When the bio-mom makes it clear she isn’t interested in getting along with us, it’s time for a new strategy. The following is a revised compilation of several earlier posts to sum up a new outlook for this enraging and painful situation. A new approach to dealing with the biological mother of your stepkids […]
When I coach women that have experienced infidelity, there are many variables to each individual circumstance; however, there is a glaring commonality among every woman. After they have gone through the process of grieving their mate’s indiscretion, some begin their personal journey towards forgiving their mate. They vow to put the past in the past […]
Watch on our new series Off The Clock 3 ways: Youtube Playlist Facebook IGTV (from your phone)
Rapper and father, Webbie had a rough night with his teenage sons. He decided to take his grievance to instagram live and the world tuned in! The problem arose because there is conflict on whether or not he should have shared this private family matter publicly. Was he out of order? Watch on our new […]
Father’s are supposed to protect their little ones from all the scary, physical and emotional dangers of the world. So what’s a mom to do when the man she created a new life with turns out to be the first person who breaks her child’s heart? With so many shining examples of great fathers everywhere […]
Too often women are saddled down with labels. We are constantly forced into a box of good, bad, worthy, unworthy and more. Women are seen as a second-class citizens in society and when it comes to parenting, there is no difference. We often hear men speak on their bitter baby mommas. She doesn’t want […]
Blended and Black’s, Naja Hall sat down with Skyra Thomas, founder of Flip the Zip, a community that connects people looking to relocate. The ladies discussed moving with kids, a touchy topic that many step families will face at some point. Skyra has a positive long distance co-parenting relationship with her son’s father and she […]
I said I would never divorce. I am the child of divorced parents, and I had no intentions of putting my children through that experience. “Life,” however, had other plans and I find myself in the midst of separation. This set of circumstances forces me to examine my past experience in hopes to prepare both […]
Separation from your lifetime partner can be a heart wrenching affair. It is a death that we do not always prepare for and often don’t expect. Most of us see hard times and arguments and are aware of the work it takes to hold a marriage together, but what do you do when it falls […]
By now, we’ve all heard about Richard “Tre” Jenkins, the teen that went from homeless to Harvard. He has been featured on CNN , The Root, Ebony, The New York Post and countless other news outlets. When CNN asked his mom, Quiana, if she was surprised, she said, “No, I always knew he would get in […]
Dear Ask Dad, As a man I have never written in to one of these columns, but I don’t know what to do. My daughter is 15 years old and she is a fantastic young lady. She is an honor student, captain of her basketball team and she volunteers as well. My issue is with […]
A childless stepmom may feel Isolated. Humiliated. Underestimated. These are probably the most common sentiments of stepmothers who do not have biological children. She feels isolated because stepmothering can be an overwhelmingly lonely gig. This woman may feel like a stranger in her own home because she is the last person to join a ready-made […]
Stepmothers and their stepdaughters can be faced with unique challenges. There is an interesting dynamic that happens when a woman is tasked with “mothering” a child that she did not bear. In the case of the stepmother, this new ‘mother-daughter’ dynamic can exist because of divorce. In some instances, a biological mother is disinterested or […]
I have not spent much time contributing to the B&B podcast, but I have been lucky enough to be featured on the work of others. Most recently, I sat down with Chicago-based Family Law Attorney, Andrea Harvey for her show Harvey Law Speaks. Check out the clip below! We discuss how I got dubbed, The […]
Dear Ask Dad, my ex-husband is a nutritionist; he is a holistic nutritionist at that. He insists that I feed our son according to his standard and has no care for how I want to do it. He insists that I don’t know anything about food and he presumes that I give our child candy […]
Join the call: Thursday August 9th 8:00-8:30p Eastern Call in number: (712) 770-4010 Access Code: 605465# I’ve not appealed to God as much as I have since becoming a Wife and a Stepmom. These roles are ones that will test your endurance and exhaust your faith. Aside from sustaining my physical and mental viability, I PRAY, but […]
Yesterday, I sat down with Dr. Jenelle Kariotis of Big Change of Heart, a platform that focuses on individuals, couples, and families in nontraditional relationships. Our chat was centered around parental alienation, conflict and MOST importantly the misdirected anger toward stepparents. As the “new kid on the block” a stepparent is often met with mistrust and […]
Dear AskDad, I’m at odds. My step-daughter has no manners and her father won’t discipline her at all. He is so hard on our son but such a softie with that girl. She is spoiled beyond belief and has him wrapped around her little finger, anything she want he does, and he sees no problem […]
Dear AskDad, I’m a single mom and I’ve been dating this man for 3 years. The entire time he has had nothing to do with his own two kids and has shown no interest in wanted to be a partner in raising my son. He says he loves kids but I don’t see it. He […]
THE GOOD WIFE Who’s helping You, when his Ex is a Borderline? Whether it’s your husband or lover who has gotten involved with a borderline disordered female, you’re in for some harrowing times. This issue becomes a monumentally stressful exercise for both of you–but sadly, you’ll generally end up feeling the brunt of it, not […]
My husband has a HCBM (high conflict biomom) that is out of control. She continues to call and harass us at all hours of the day and night. She has no respect for anyone but herself (if even that). She doesn’t comply with any visitation orders, she is consistently late and she does everything in her […]
My bonus babies and I have been enjoying quite an active summer! We’ve been venturing around New York City and taking in all that the Big Apple has to offer! But in our downtime, we’ve managed to catch up on a few fun TV programs. If you’re in need of ideas, #TheFam came through with […]
Either the kids are going or coming for the summer and shifting households can be a stressful and exciting time for everyone. If the kids are leaving, some custodial parents may suffer separation anxiety, while others may take advantage of a kid-free zone! If the kids are going to be with their noncustodial parent, then […]
Are you a biological parent that is about to become a stepparent? Perhaps you are a step parent that is about to become a new biological parent. Be forewarned, you and your family are about to undergo some serious changes. You can expect some discomfort and frustration, however it’s not all bad. In fact, the […]
Being in a blended family presents a totally different set of challenges than a traditional family. Aside from logistics and finances, there are usually emotional issues to overcome. Blended families are formed because a previous family unit has broken apart. Divorce and separation represents the death of an original family and it must be grieved. […]
Long-term relationships have a tendency to get dull in the intimacy department. When the monotony of life sets in and the initial honeymoon phase begins to fade, it’s easy for couples to fall into the groove of sexual boredom. Here are some conventional and NOT SO conventional ways to shake things up in your relationship […]
A warning for Stepmoms (and biomoms). Yes Stepmoms, you read that right. The BioMonster (high conflict bio mom) you’re dealing with was created with your help – the Stepmom who chose a life most would run away from. For those of you who haven’t heard of the term “BioMonster,” I’ll define it like this: a […]
I recently had a chance to sit down with Will Carr, a Single Dad and entrepreneur. In our #QuickChat, we spoke about his motivation behind running his own business and how his lifestyle centers around Blakely, his 2- year old daughter. In our candid talk, we discuss the daunting court process and co-parenting. While it […]
For the 1st episode of B&B TV, I’ve partnered with CelebrityXO to bring you a Pop Culture edition of Blended and Black TV! I’m so excited about this collaboration because I get to mesh my favorite topic, Blended Families with one of my other favorite things to chat about: TEA! This week we’re discussing Megan Markle’s […]
Most mothers reflect fondly upon the day their children were born as one that tested her strength, her faith, her pain tolerance and her undying love for a child she’d never met. The birth bond is so strong that every mother could probably recount everything leading up to the moment her child was born. When […]
Former Playboy model commits murder/suicide with 7- year son with amidst messy custody battle. Thursday evening May 17, 2018 Stephanie Adams checked into the penthouse suite at the Gotham Hotel. At approximately 8:15 Friday morning, the former November 1992 Playboy centerfold gazed at the bustling streets of New York City. These would be the final moments of she and […]
Kids love everything shiny and new… or wait. Is that adults? Either way, kids do not have that little voice that says, “That’s enough. Time to do something else.” All they have is a “go” switch. As adults and especially as parents, it is our job to turn that focus onto constructive things. Technology has […]
There is no typical day in my Coaching practice. Some days I may be sitting with a 10-year-old that is unable to accept her parents’ divorce. Other days, I am sitting with a grandmother who is unwilling to acknowledge her sons new wife’s children (her step-grandchildren). One of the core principles of Blended and Black […]
Last night’s facebook live Group Therapy episode was actually pretty good for our 1st run. There were a few glitches and tech difficulties, but the content is SO strong, I decided to share. FFWD about 1:30 and enjoy 45 minutes of Group Therapy. We will be doing another session next month. Stay tuned for updates. […]
There is an inherent toxicity that occurs in the Stepmother/Biological mother dynamic. Just like cats and dogs are natural-born enemies, it is almost expected that a SM and BM will have a relationship built on contempt and competition. The fact of the matter is, when women work together for the betterment of the children that […]
Blended and Black founder, Naja Hall spoke with AskSharifah on Sharifah Hardie’s long-running LA talk radio show. The ladies had a full 1 hour session on-air and it was full of so many sistafriend moments. They spoke about Naja’s experiences as a Family Life Coach and some best practices in dealing with high-conflict personalities, mental illness, […]
I remember being 22 and pregnant with my first daughter. The bold question from my uncle, “Are you prepared to take care of this child by yourself?” continues to resonate to this very day. I assumed he was just being yet another pessimistic, overprotective male family member; yet I had no clue this thought-provoking question […]
I pulled this excerpt from a paper written by Dr. Linda Neilsen. This is another one of the pieces I wish I had when I began my Stepmom journey. I would encourage SM and BMs to read it….carefully. -Naja Below are the situational factors which will determine what kind of relationship you have with your […]
By Blended and Black member Stephanie Martinez From the time I was a little girl until I was in my early twenties, I felt forgotten. I felt unimportant. I felt like I didn’t matter. I am a product of two divorces, abuse, and abandonment. Co-parenting was not a thing in our life. Everything was a […]
dis·en·gage (dsn-gj) v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles. 2. To release (oneself) from an engagement, pledge, or obligation. To free or detach oneself; withdraw. “Disengage from the situation!” “Just disengage from your stepchild if they are causing you pain!” “I would just disengage from my husband if he was acting like that.” These […]
There has been much speculation about the youngest Kardashian sister’s, 33, growing belly lately. Some call her 1st pregnancy announcement, the worst kept secret in Hollywood. But she finally made her mom-to be status known via her Instagram account yesterday. Kardashian and Cleveland Cavalier player, Tristan Thompson, 26, are set to become parents in early 2018. […]
*Update The Mixer was a total success! Check out the fun trailer from the evening and a few images from the evening! If you’re in Memphis, TN on December 27th at 7pm, join me for a fun evening of enlightenment, conversation and a slight turn up! I’ll be doing a soft launch […]
At some point in life, you are going to experience unrequited hatred. It can come from an overlooked co-worker, an angry co-parent and even pure strangers. While I do not pretend to be the picture of innocence, I have faced some visceral that I just did not deserve! In the past, I would internalize the […]
In our community, I notice that a lot of us are overly emotional but we lack the depth to properly express our feelings. People are increasingly seeming more angry and confused. There are so many walking around with undiagnosed mental illnesses and the majority of our issues began taking root during our childhoods. Our […]
Child discipline is a big topic in the Blended and Black facebook group. Last week, the following video was shared in the group and an intense discussion ensued. While some are adamantly against spankings, some parents do acknowledge the positive effects corporal punishment can have on a child. While we often debate, it’s rare that a […]
Let’s go to the Bank Jesse Williams is opening his wallet wide for his estranged wife, to the tune of $160,000. Jesse’s estranged wife, Aryn Drake-Lee, just filed legal docs which disclose a temporary settlement, in which Jesse agrees to give her $100k for spousal and child support and $60k to cover her lawyer’s fees and other […]
I couldn’t hold this in any longer! After 1000s of required hours, months of rigorous study and a killer exam, I’m so happy to announce that I am a Family Life Coach. I earned my Bachelors in Family and Consumer Sciences (a long time ago) so obtaining this license was a natural progression in my […]
The most frightening words a Father can hear from his daughter are, “Daddy, can you do my hair?” Darious Bland, a Single Dad and a valuable member of the Blended and Black community, recently sat down with me to share his journey to becoming a Daddy Hair Guru! Darious has been featured in Huffington Post, […]
Like most women that are falling in love, I was hopeful and anxious when my Future Husband and I began dating. He is an astonishing man! He’s tall, dark and very handsome. He is kind and gentle. He has rock hard abs! He is also a Father. The latter was a tough fact for me […]
BEST APPS FOR CO-PARENTING When it comes to divorce, technology often gets a bad rap. Many people cite phone addictions and their partners social media usage as contributing factors to their relationship breakdown. Yet not all technology is bad. These co-parenting apps show just how beneficial tech can be. Divorce is hard enough – let your phone […]
Sis, May I have a word with you for a second? There are far too many good men who are fighting to be involved in the life of a child they created only to be constantly turned away by a bio-mom. There is also a statistic of women who are fighting to have their child’s […]
Mrs. Uloma Curry-Walker has been found guilty of aggravated murder, conspiracy, felonious assault and other charges in the Nov. 3, 2013 slaying of her then-husband of four months, William Walker. The wife of the Cleveland firefighter was convicted Friday of soliciting his death to collect on insurance money. Little did she know, her husband had […]
Hypothetically speaking, if your co-parent approached you and gave you their most honest reason explaining why they are high-conflict, inconsistent, or not involved -would you listen and accept their response? Would you offer solutions to help ease them back into your child’s life? Would you berate them and spew insults? I recently posed this question […]
What if I told you that all Babymamas are not evil ? While she may be perceived as bitter, angry or spiteful, she really doesn’t mean to be. Now hear me out! I grew up with a Southern Granny and she had a favorite saying, “pay that no mind”? My Grandmother was trying to communicate […]