Yesterday, I sat down with
Dr. Jenelle Kariotis of Big Change of Heart, a platform that focuses on individuals, couples, and families in nontraditional relationships. Our chat was centered around parental alienation, conflict and MOST importantly the misdirected anger toward stepparents. As the “new kid on the block” a stepparent is often met with mistrust and apprehension. Whether they were a direct cause of a marital demise or if they were not, they may still feel the brunt of residual emotions from the divorce of the original family. Sometimes it is easier to blame others as opposed to being self aware enough to take personal responsibility.
Stepparents often hear, “This is what you signed up for when your married a person with kids” as a form of solace from misguided, well-meaning family members. What they are essentially saying is, ” I have no solid advice for you but I would not dare trade places with you. You basically should get accustomed to eating sh*t because it comes along with the territory.”
This is WRONG WRONG WRONG! There is no such rule that you must accept abuse or disrespect because you now occupy a new role! If you are feeling the heat from your partners ex or your stepkids then check out this video! While you may not be able to form a love bond with them, you can take back your personal peace by unapologetically setting firm boundaries with everyone (including your Spouse).
Remember, the pains that others will try to project onto you are NOT yours to bear. Do not accept it. You do not have to allow the actions of a person who wants to hurt you to permeate your mind, body and soul. Their truth is not YOUR truth. When this happens, you are ingesting the lies that you have been fed. They become a part of you and your life becomes unbearable. You don’t eat in everyone’s kitchen so don’t you DARE allow just any one to pour destructive words into your soul.
If this has already happened to you, watch the video for tips on how to undo the damage!