Dear Ask Dad,
I don’t know what to do. My MIL is still stuck on my husband’s BM (they were never married).
When I’m around she acts like I’m not even there, I ask her to lunch and coffee and she is always too
busy, but has time for the other woman. I get her gifts for Mother’s Day, Christmas, Birthday etc and
she has yet to get me anything. I don’t know what to do to make this woman like me.
Dear Number 2,
Why is it so important that she like you? Your husband is well aware of his mom’s preferences. He also understands that his mom and his kid’s mother have similarities that make their relationship natural. If he is ok with it and it does not affect him, then so be it. It’s not like his mother is trying to convince him to rekindle his relationship with her.
As long as your husband is good to you and treats you right I don’t see the need to kiss up to his mother. Stop with the gifts and drill down to respectful, short dealings. Obviously a close knit relationship between the two of you would be ideal but that isn’t the case. The woman has made her choice and has chosen the losing side. Just because she doesn’t show an affinity towards you, don’t lose one wink of sleep.
My advice is to treat her exactly the way that she treats you. It may be difficult, because it is usually hard for nice
people to be fall back but she doesn’t deserve your overwhelming niceness. Treat her the way she treats you, and if she is fine with it then great; if she isn’t she will change her behavior. Mirror her behavior and follow her lead.