I’m a Life Coach in real life and I want to share a true story with you.
Last year, I had a Client that was beautiful, talented, driven, but just a bit unsure about the trajectory of her life and her relationship.
She initially came to me because she was having a hard time dealing with all that comes along with being with a man with kids. To be fair, most women have a hard time with stepmotherhood.
One of my jobs is to help them to reconcile their feelings, come to terms with reality, and reset their expectations. After a few sessions, I asked if I could meet her man. Typically if a Client’s lamentations seem to come from one source, I like to meet the “source”.
Also, (so far) I’ve been 100% correct on if a Client’s relationship can stand the test of time…or not. The 3 of us met for a video session and I could instantly SEE why she could not “settle” into this relationship. She was a platinum blonde beauty with intense blue eyes. She looked sad though. She was methodical with her words and she spoke with confidence. She had no children of her own and she was considering foregoing a shot at motherhood because her man “did not think he had enough room in his heart to love any more children.” The fella was nice. He had kind eyes but it was apparent that his previous (failed) marriage had sucked up all of his good years. He had an unsure posture and he seemed to diminish himself when he spoke of my Client’s accomplished life.
Fun fact: Most men’s egos cannot handle feeling “smaller” than their woman. Over time, they find ways to cut the woman down so that she fits into their perception of success. I see it every day!
My Client was getting the remnants of a man that another woman had chewed up and spit out and she could not see it….because LOVE is a weird thing. I have a program that I nicknamed #ThePurge. Basically, I created it as a tool to BREAK COUPLES UP….not all couples, just the ones that may not be the best match for one another. This program is a hardcore initiation into life partnership. It forces a couple to do a painstaking inventory on their lives and most finish the program realizing that they shouldn’t do life together. I was pretty sure this Client was smart enough to “save herself” after I introduced #ThePurge. During #ThePurge, I heard from both of them individually. I make myself available by phone to my clients because emotions can get pretty intense. The fella called me and confided some truths that I’d already suspected and my Client seemed to have an awakening as well.
Listen, the divorce rate is 50% for 1st marriages. Clearly, half the people getting married aren’t equipped to have made such a big decision in the 1st place.
Anyway, she made the painstaking decision to end the relationship and I supported each of them through the process. Life went on and my time ended as her Life Coach. I’ve not heard from her for about 2 years….until this morning!
Once a Client always a Client! Out of the blue, I received a series of photos from her and I screamed with excitement! Apparently, she went on a breakup excursion through New Zealand. Her ex refused to travel because of financial constraints and he was riddled with dad guilt so he couldn’t bear to be away from his kids. My Client was anxious to get back to her passion for world travel! While hiking through the mountains of New Zealand, she met a handsome stranger from Spain! She and “handsome stranger” were married last year and they’re about to pop out a set of twins girls later this year! I asked her if she’d spoken with her ex. She told me he’d gotten full custody of his kids after they broke up and he was busy navigating life as a single papa. She said she’d never seen him happier.
They are no longer in contact. When I met that couple, I knew they both had the potential to live the EXACT lives they wanted….just not with one another.
Boy oh boy! Life comes at you fast!