Your Stepkids
VIPod 03: *New ways to bond with difficult stepkids
I chatted with The Teenager Whisperer, Kirsten Cobabe for my public podcast, “I know I’m crazy.” After we wrapped up the public portion, she and I broke away to discuss stepmom specific tactics. She has a very unorthodox way of dealing with teenagers and I think this will help many of us understand the positions […]
3 common mistakes of a new Stepparent. Oops!
Guest submission When I began my journey as a stepmother, I was 26, about 7 months pregnant with twins, completing a Master’s Program, and at a job I hated. I was often back and forth to Child Support Court with my first biological son’s father. In that space, I was not emotionally ready to begin […]
Ask Naja: My Stepdaughter won’t visit unless we PAY her!
My Stepdaughter got $450 for birthday and Christmas from her dad and I, and other members of my family (grandparents etc). Her dad has told her it has to stay at our house for two reasons. One being we don’t trust her mom not to take it from her, and also we would like to be with […]
The Disengaged Stepmom: 4 Ways to Step BACK from the pain & hurt of Step parenting
dis·en·gage (dsn-gj) v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles. 2. To release (oneself) from an engagement, pledge, or obligation. To free or detach oneself; withdraw. “Disengage from the situation!” “Just disengage from your stepchild if they are causing you pain!” “I would just disengage from my husband if he was acting like that.” These […]
Surprise Stepmom! You’ve got custody!
Naja Hall chats with Lisa Williams, a coach and custodial stepmom. She became an unexpected full-time stepmother to a recently diagnosed autistic four-year-old, with one weeks notice. She was forty-two years old! The child was four. The bio mother was very high-conflict. Lisa had already raised three kids. She thought her life was over. Lisa […]
VIPod Ep 02: Smells Like Teen Spirit: How To Deal With Teen Stepchildren
https://youtu.be/hggMQ_Hm8lU This is probably going to be my longest podcast ever, but I had to get a whole lotta ish off my chest! I’m pretty sure you can identify with a lot of what I’m saying in this pod. It walks you through my process of facing drama and then dealing with it. If […]
When Stepmom NEEDS to Step Off: How to Deal With Overbearing Stepmoms
Dear Naja, I, myself, am a stepmom…. but I also have a birth child that I share with my ex and his wife. So in this case, my question is as a birth mom not sure how to deal with a stepmom. My issue is that this stepmom is SERIOUSLY overbearing and does not know […]
7 Types of Women That Should Never Become Stepmothers
Stepmothering is probably one of the toughest roles I’ve held to date. It’s not even so much the actual ‘mothering’ part. I enjoy being present in the lives of my stepchildren. I’m thankful to have the privilege of watching them grow up. I have been blessed with three really cool humans, so I am one […]
My teenager wants an Instagram account, Here’s my response
I recently allowed my daughter, Kelcie to take over my Facebook page. As the precocious person that she’s been since birth, Kelcie presented her carefully curated argument as to why she should have an Instagram account. As a High School Assistant Principal, I have a uniquie vantage point of understanding the effects of social media […]
Are You Scared Shitl*ss over Your Stepkid’s Upcoming Summer Visit?
https://youtu.be/qQZimLguAVE Many of us are sending kids away or welcoming them into their ‘non-custodial’ homes for the much anticipated Summer Vacation! If you’re a mom that is sending her bios to be with their Dad, girlfriend, enjoy your free time and make the most of it. As I’ve prepared to usher my Stepkids into their […]
10 Commandments for StepMoms
Here are YOUR rules for stepmommin’! Print them, make them your screensaver! Commit them to memory. Everything I share is with the intention that your journey will be a beautiful one. I find that so many of us are consumed by the antics of others because we are imbalanced. Have you ever seen someone blow […]
How to Master Long Distance Coparenting
I sat down with Skyra Thomas, founder of FliptheZip.com, a community that connects people looking to relocate. We discussed a touchy topic that many stepfamilies will face at some point. Skyra has a positive long distance co-parenting relationship with her son’s father and she grew up traveling between both her parent’s households in different cities. […]
My 10 Year Stepdaughter is Ruining My Marriage
My Client has watched helplessly as her 10-year old custodial stepdaughter has transformed from loving to tough-to-love in less than a year. Stepdaughter returns from weekend visits with her biological mother acting unruly and disrespectful. The biological mother has just re-entered the child’s life after an ‘illness’ and I suspect this is the root cause […]
Podcast 010: How To Cope When Your Child Is Turned Against You with Erasing Family
This week I am chatting with the founder of Erasing Family, Ginger Gentile. According to www.Erasingfamily.org, in the US alone, over 22 MILLION PARENTS are being erased from their children’s lives after divorce and separation. Ginger offers tips on how to cope as an erased family member and how to handle your child when they […]
Client Session: My 10-Year Old Stepdaughter is Ruining My Marriage
My Client has watched helplessly as her 10-year old custodial stepdaughter has transformed from loving to tough-to-love in less than a year. Stepdaughter returns from weekend visits with her biological mother acting unruly and disrespectful. The biological mother has just re-entered the child’s life after an ‘illness’ and I suspect this is the root cause […]
How I Survived Being Raised By a Narcissistic Mother
This is the story of my childhood and how I survived. Growing up with my mom was interesting, to put it lightly. She was never really outright abusive to me or my sister, but there were other things that she did or lack thereof, that really hurt me. Maybe it was the fact that she […]
#AskDad: My Teenage Daughter Ignores my New Wife
Dear AskDad, I just got married 6 months ago and my teenage daughter refuse to talk to my wife. She will not say hi, bye, good morning etc. Everything was fine until we got married. Clearly this is putting a strain on our relationship. There are no other kids and we have no plans on […]
How to Handle Disrespectful Stepkids
Are you dealing with disrespectful stepkids? Why would they be disrespectful? Like it or not, phrases like, “You’re not my Mom!” may be thrown around in times of disobedience and defiance. As a pruned at this very moment to defy my Husband and I every chance they get. They are being severely alienated and have […]
My Stepson Lives With Us But Refuses To Talk To Me
I’m always gushing about how much I love the Blended and Black Facebook Support Group. Today a concerned Stepmom posted a question and a gentleman, Ron Blake (who is a Stepson and now a Stepdad), was able to give her and many other women some priceless advice. -Naja Hall, Founder STEPMOM: Why is it SO […]
How to Bond With Step Children During Short Visits
Forming a bond with step children can be tough but being a stepparent is a role that over 50 million Americans will experience at some point in their lives. Most start their journey filled with hope and excitement. For some individuals, the feelings of anxiety and inadequacy soon set in and the role becomes obligatory […]
Exploring the Fragile Relationship Between Stepmothers and Stepdaughters
Stepmothers and their stepdaughters can be faced with unique challenges. There is an interesting dynamic that happens when a woman is tasked with “mothering” a child that she did not bear. In the case of the stepmother, this new ‘mother-daughter’ dynamic can exist because of divorce. In some instances, a biological mother is disinterested or […]
#AskDad: Spoiled Stepdaughter Spoiling My Marriage
Dear AskDad, I’m at odds. My step-daughter has no manners and her father won’t discipline her at all. He is so hard on our son but such a softie with that girl. She is spoiled beyond belief and has him wrapped around her little finger, anything she want he does, and he sees no problem […]
Co-Parenting: Let’s Talk About Summer Vacation
Either the kids are going or coming for the summer and shifting households can be a stressful and exciting time for everyone. If the kids are leaving, some custodial parents may suffer separation anxiety, while others may take advantage of a kid-free zone! If the kids are going to be with their noncustodial parent, then […]
25 Factors That Determine the Type of Relationship You Will Have With Your Stepkids
I pulled this excerpt from a paper written by Dr. Linda Neilsen. This is another one of the pieces I wish I had when I began my Stepmom journey. I would encourage SM and BMs to read it….carefully. -Naja Below are the situational factors which will determine what kind of relationship you have with your […]