Staying Sane in Your Lane Self Care + More
3 common mistakes of a new Stepparent. Oops!
Guest submission When I began my journey as a stepmother, I was 26, about 7 months pregnant with twins, completing a Master’s Program, and at a job I hated. I was often back and forth to Child Support Court with my first biological son’s father. In that space, I was not emotionally ready to begin […]
The Disengaged Stepmom: 4 Ways to Step BACK from the pain & hurt of Step parenting
dis·en·gage (dsn-gj) v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles. 2. To release (oneself) from an engagement, pledge, or obligation. To free or detach oneself; withdraw. “Disengage from the situation!” “Just disengage from your stepchild if they are causing you pain!” “I would just disengage from my husband if he was acting like that.” These […]
Surprise Stepmom! You’ve got custody!
Naja Hall chats with Lisa Williams, a coach and custodial stepmom. She became an unexpected full-time stepmother to a recently diagnosed autistic four-year-old, with one weeks notice. She was forty-two years old! The child was four. The bio mother was very high-conflict. Lisa had already raised three kids. She thought her life was over. Lisa […]
When Stepmom NEEDS to Step Off: How to Deal With Overbearing Stepmoms
Dear Naja, I, myself, am a stepmom…. but I also have a birth child that I share with my ex and his wife. So in this case, my question is as a birth mom not sure how to deal with a stepmom. My issue is that this stepmom is SERIOUSLY overbearing and does not know […]
How To Kick BioMom Outta Your Relationship
https://youtu.be/8_KWHCDPwD4 Stepmom! Hey girl hey! Here’s a bit of advice that I almost learned TOO LATE! I know it sucks to see your partner deal with conflict from his coparent. As his Wonder Woman, it is natural to want to swoop in and save the day. 🛑Stop🛑 I want you to switch gears and work […]
Stepmoms, Be Sure To Read the FINE Print
As a Stepmom, you really don’t know what you are getting into until you are in it! If only there was insight or a potential roadmap for your Stepmotherhood journey. Well there is, it’s your partners’ divorce decree and custody agreement. And you should read it! Why you are asking yourself? I should do What? […]
7 Types of Women That Should Never Become Stepmothers
Stepmothering is probably one of the toughest roles I’ve held to date. It’s not even so much the actual ‘mothering’ part. I enjoy being present in the lives of my stepchildren. I’m thankful to have the privilege of watching them grow up. I have been blessed with three really cool humans, so I am one […]
Interview: An in-depth look at High Conflict Bio Dads
I got special permission to share this session with you. I sat down with a woman with a HCBD. Here’s a bit of insight, the HCBD’s new partner (and his family) believe he the victim and they are unknowingly furthering his mission to alienate and inflict pain on his ex. Sound familiar? I felt this […]
This couple left divorce court and went to lunch
Hannah and Fard have ended their time as life partners and they’ve penned an excerpt that has the internet abuzz. In this day in age, especially considering the work I do, seeing new divorcees breaking bread is RARE. Here are 5 lessons learned in hindsight from Hannah and Fard. We wish their family love and […]
Are You Scared Shitl*ss over Your Stepkid’s Upcoming Summer Visit?
https://youtu.be/qQZimLguAVE Many of us are sending kids away or welcoming them into their ‘non-custodial’ homes for the much anticipated Summer Vacation! If you’re a mom that is sending her bios to be with their Dad, girlfriend, enjoy your free time and make the most of it. As I’ve prepared to usher my Stepkids into their […]
VIPod: Ep 1 Would You Still Say YES?
I’m in VIPStepmom launch celebration mode so here is a bonus version of our VIPStepmom podcast! I asked all the ladies, if you knew then, what you know now….would you still say YES? PLEASE follow us on Instagram and Facebook. We post member updates and new releases there. The answers were um…a little heartbreaking. Listen […]
10 Commandments for StepMoms
Here are YOUR rules for stepmommin’! Print them, make them your screensaver! Commit them to memory. Everything I share is with the intention that your journey will be a beautiful one. I find that so many of us are consumed by the antics of others because we are imbalanced. Have you ever seen someone blow […]
StepMom Affirmations: Listen When You’re Feeling Imbalanced
I shared this on my podcast a while back and I’ve received some amazing messages! One of our #stepsistas told me she listens to my affirmations before her stepkids visit EOW! I am bookmarking it here, so you can grab it when you need a refresher! Don’t forget to comment in the forum! I’m looking […]
How your man can help EASE your stepmom STRESS
A loving dad named Brandon reached out to me because he wants to learn how to ease his girlfriend’s stepmom stress. He has been trying to finish his divorce however, his high conflict ex has other plans. His lady feels anxiety about their situation and it is affecting his relationship. I decided to tap my […]
I interviewed Mashonda about coparenting with Alicia Keys
Mashonda, ex-wife of music producer Swizz Beats discusses healing from their messy divorce, forgiving Alicia Keys and putting her son first. In her new book, Blend, she offers tips for mothers that need healing from breakup and divorce. She also details her unique childhood experience in her own blended family. https://youtu.be/kl9RtLz7hns Sign up for a […]
Study a person’s ingredients before you feed them to your soul
There is no such rule that you must accept abuse or disrespect because you now occupy a new role! If you are feeling the heat from your partner’s ex or your stepkids then check out this video! While you may never get them to love you, you can take back your personal peace by unapologetically […]
My 10 Year Stepdaughter is Ruining My Marriage
My Client has watched helplessly as her 10-year old custodial stepdaughter has transformed from loving to tough-to-love in less than a year. Stepdaughter returns from weekend visits with her biological mother acting unruly and disrespectful. The biological mother has just re-entered the child’s life after an ‘illness’ and I suspect this is the root cause […]
6 Ways to Spot a Narcissistic Mother
Living alongside a narcissist is hard work. Co-parenting with a narcissistic is tough. This type of mother seeks sympathy from any audience by positioning herself as the self-sacrificial patron saint of motherhood. While it’s expected that a mom would do anything for her family, this one has an innate need to be admired and acknowledged. […]
PODCAST 009: 14 Signs You Are Jealous of Your Best Friend
via GIPHY The Brady Bunch is arguably the most well-known blended family sitcoms in pop culture. The feature film version of the show satirized the original characters in a with a modern twist. One of the most memorable scenes was little sister Jan’s frustration with the favoritism of her big sister, Marcia. From the expression […]
Podcast 006 Toxic motherhood is a VERY real thing!
Listen on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or Google Play In this episode of I Know I’m Crazy with Naja Hall, I chat with Jennifer Arnise. Our conversation was uncomfortably too real at times because we are discussing a tough topic, Toxic Mothers! Jen gives personal and professional insights on how to deal with a toxic mom. […]
Podcast 005 Advice from Veteran Stepmom Brenda Ockun
OMG, I’m so excited to share my chat with Brenda Ockun, the publisher of Stepmom Magazine. *Shameless plug, I am April’s Stepmom Magazine covergirl. Be sure to grab a copy! (As a bonus, be sure to listen to my Affirmations for Stressed-Out Stepmoms) Listen on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or Google Play In this episode of […]
Blended and Black Founder, Naja Hall is a COVERGIRL! Stepmom Magazine
Great news Fam! Our founder, Naja Hall landed her very 1st magazine cover with Stepmom Magazine! Check out her article HERE. I’ve been reading Stepmom Magazine since before I officially became a Stepmom, so it’s definitely a full-circle moment to be featured by the women whom I go to for help. This is a really, […]
003 PODCAST: You’re probably ADDICTED to DRAMA with
Listen on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or Google Play In this episode of I Know I’m Crazy with Naja Hall, I chat with Addiction Treatment Specialist, Chris Wilkins. I was instantly drawn to his work because many of us are consumed by conflict and he is the perfect person to teach us about letting go […]
How I Survived Being Raised By a Narcissistic Mother
This is the story of my childhood and how I survived. Growing up with my mom was interesting, to put it lightly. She was never really outright abusive to me or my sister, but there were other things that she did or lack thereof, that really hurt me. Maybe it was the fact that she […]
A NEW Approach For Dealing With Hostile Bio Moms
When the bio-mom makes it clear she isn’t interested in getting along with us, it’s time for a new strategy. The following is a revised compilation of several earlier posts to sum up a new outlook for this enraging and painful situation. A new approach to dealing with the biological mother of your stepkids […]
Drama & Dating a Divorced Parent
By Lisa Cohn indy Copeland of Keene, NH, had just begun dating Wayne, a divorced dad, when she received a phone call she definitely didn’t expect: from Wayne’s ex-wife, who wanted to meet up. Wary, Cindy acquiesced but soon regretted it, as she sat there listening to the ex rant about how she and Wayne […]
How to Cope With Feeling Worthless After Infidelity
When I coach women that have experienced infidelity, there are many variables to each individual circumstance; however, there is a glaring commonality among every woman. After they have gone through the process of grieving their mate’s indiscretion, some begin their personal journey towards forgiving their mate. They vow to put the past in the past […]
A Lovenote To The Childless Stepmom
A childless stepmom may feel Isolated. Humiliated. Underestimated. These are probably the most common sentiments of stepmothers who do not have biological children. She feels isolated because stepmothering can be an overwhelmingly lonely gig. This woman may feel like a stranger in her own home because she is the last person to join a ready-made […]
How to Kick Your Husband’s Ex-Wife Out Of Your Marriage
Stepmom! Hey girl hey! Here’s a bit of advice that I almost learned TOO LATE! I know it sucks to see your partner deal with conflict from his coparent. As his Wonder Woman, it is natural to want to swoop in and save the day. 🛑Stop🛑 I want you to switch gears and work your […]
Exploring the Fragile Relationship Between Stepmothers and Stepdaughters
Stepmothers and their stepdaughters can be faced with unique challenges. There is an interesting dynamic that happens when a woman is tasked with “mothering” a child that she did not bear. In the case of the stepmother, this new ‘mother-daughter’ dynamic can exist because of divorce. In some instances, a biological mother is disinterested or […]
PODCAST: How Naja Hall became the ‘Queen of Conflict Resolution’
I have not spent much time contributing to the B&B podcast, but I have been lucky enough to be featured on the work of others. Most recently, I sat down with Chicago-based Family Law Attorney, Andrea Harvey for her show Harvey Law Speaks. Check out the clip below! We discuss how I got dubbed, The […]
Study a Person’s Ingredients Before You Feed Them to Your Soul
Yesterday, I sat down with Dr. Jenelle Kariotis of Big Change of Heart, a platform that focuses on individuals, couples, and families in nontraditional relationships. Our chat was centered around parental alienation, conflict and MOST importantly the misdirected anger toward stepparents. As the “new kid on the block” a stepparent is often met with mistrust and […]
When Your Husband’s Ex-Wife Has Borderline Personality Disorder
THE GOOD WIFE Who’s helping You, when his Ex is a Borderline? Whether it’s your husband or lover who has gotten involved with a borderline disordered female, you’re in for some harrowing times. This issue becomes a monumentally stressful exercise for both of you–but sadly, you’ll generally end up feeling the brunt of it, not […]
#AskDad: Our ‘Crazy’ is Driving Me Insane and Ruining My Marriage!
My husband has a HCBM (high conflict biomom) that is out of control. She continues to call and harass us at all hours of the day and night. She has no respect for anyone but herself (if even that). She doesn’t comply with any visitation orders, she is consistently late and she does everything in her […]
How to Survive the Transition from Parent to Stepparent
Are you a biological parent that is about to become a stepparent? Perhaps you are a step parent that is about to become a new biological parent. Be forewarned, you and your family are about to undergo some serious changes. You can expect some discomfort and frustration, however it’s not all bad. In fact, the […]
The BioMonster: 3 Ways YOU Created Your High Conflict BioMom
A warning for Stepmoms (and biomoms). Yes Stepmoms, you read that right. The BioMonster (high conflict bio mom) you’re dealing with was created with your help – the Stepmom who chose a life most would run away from. For those of you who haven’t heard of the term “BioMonster,” I’ll define it like this: a […]
Stepparents: 7 Questions to Ask When You are Feeling Terribly Alone
There is no typical day in my Coaching practice. Some days I may be sitting with a 10-year-old that is unable to accept her parents’ divorce. Other days, I am sitting with a grandmother who is unwilling to acknowledge her sons new wife’s children (her step-grandchildren). One of the core principles of Blended and Black […]
PRESS RELEASE: Naja Hall Talks High Conflict Co-Parenting and Her Qwn “Girl,Bye!” Moments
Blended and Black founder, Naja Hall spoke with AskSharifah on Sharifah Hardie’s long-running LA talk radio show. The ladies had a full 1 hour session on-air and it was full of so many sistafriend moments. They spoke about Naja’s experiences as a Family Life Coach and some best practices in dealing with high-conflict personalities, mental illness, […]
25 Factors That Determine the Type of Relationship You Will Have With Your Stepkids
I pulled this excerpt from a paper written by Dr. Linda Neilsen. This is another one of the pieces I wish I had when I began my Stepmom journey. I would encourage SM and BMs to read it….carefully. -Naja Below are the situational factors which will determine what kind of relationship you have with your […]
The Disengaged Stepmom: 4 Ways to Step BACK from the pain & hurt of Step parenting
dis·en·gage (dsn-gj) v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles. 2. To release (oneself) from an engagement, pledge, or obligation. To free or detach oneself; withdraw. “Disengage from the situation!” “Just disengage from your stepchild if they are causing you pain!” “I would just disengage from my husband if he was acting like that.” These […]
THINK PIECE: A Love Note for the Hater in Your Life
At some point in life, you are going to experience unrequited hatred. It can come from an overlooked co-worker, an angry co-parent and even pure strangers. While I do not pretend to be the picture of innocence, I have faced some visceral that I just did not deserve! In the past, I would internalize the […]
Stepmom Support: Please Don’t Tell Me I CHOSE THIS LIFE
Like most women that are falling in love, I was hopeful and anxious when my Future Husband and I began dating. He is an astonishing man! He’s tall, dark and very handsome. He is kind and gentle. He has rock hard abs! He is also a Father. The latter was a tough fact for me […]
